Changing Kids' Behavior Begins By Changing Your Expectations

If you have a child who is doing something you don't like, get real upset about it on a regular basis and sure enough he'll repeat it for you. Too much yelling and too much anger on the part of a parent are destructive for several reasons:

  1. First, they move the focus off of the child's misbehavior and on to the parent's own outburst.
  2. Second, many children take the emotional eruption of a parent as a challenge to a fight, and there are plenty of kids who love a good fight.
  3. Third, parents who over explain and give three, four or five reasons to a child to encourage right behavior are almost saying "You really don't have to behave unless I can give a number of good arguments as to why you should." This is not discipline, it is begging, and the shrewd enough child will simply take issue with the parent's reasons.

Changing children's behavior often begins by changing parents' expectations of their children
Trying to teach young children appropriate behavior is actually closer to
training than it is to teaching "little adults." This means choosing a method and repeating it consistently until the "trainee" does what the trainer wants.

Very little of the training involves extensive verbal explanations. Most important, the trainer remains calm, patient and gentle, but also persistent and firm. Keep in mind, children need consistency and repetition in a warm and loving environment.

– The Moms Buzz

ParentMagic Newsletter by Dr. Thomas Phelan © 2010 Simple, straightforward parenting advice and helpful tips from Dr. Phelan's award-winning, best-selling 1-2-3 Magic Parenting Program.

About The Author

My real job in life is raising my 3 kids and having a nice, healthy and active family life. Along the way, I realized that motherhood didn’t come with a manual and frequently asked questions so I had to learn my way through with the help and advice of other mothers and that is how I decided to start a blog about tips for busy moms, The Moms Buzz, a lifestyle blog about only the buzz that matters. Modern moms are busy busy, and whatever tips make our lives easier we are ready to try them, we don’t have the time to read and read lengthy advices, but we can certainly read 1-2-3-SOLVED. Adriana is also the founder of and an established fashion/portrait photographer.

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